Top: M&S // Pants: Asos // Jacket: Alexa Chung-M&S // Trainers: Nike // Bag: Coach // Necklace: Marc Jacobs
Waking up on the first day of Spring to a complete snowy white out was a new one for me. The Beast from the East definitely came and conquered, but can we all forget about it now, let the snow melt and celebrate Spring being here! Every year I get so excited for Spring to have sprung, partly because we say farewell to the freezing Winter temperatures but mainly because it's the season of my birthday. It's a transitional season; the weather is warming, skies are clearing and teeny tiny lambs bounce around fields of newly blossomed flowers.
Well at least that's what we dream of...
In regards to transitional periods, it got me thinking about my life and the changes I've welcomed without even thinking about it. I feel as if for the past 12 months of my life I haven't paid attention to time, to dates or to what is actually going on. I used to be a very reflective and aware person, always thinking about meanings behind everything I did and now I honestly feel like I simply plod along. It doesn't really excite me that winter is over or that summer is just around the corner because I don't know what these months will bring and that scares me. I'm not being morbid or depressed, I'm stating the reality of my life with Ulcerative Colitis. In the past year my life has gone through some of the biggest transitions I've ever faced and I've never really acknowledged that...
I went from being in full time education 5 days a week to being too ill to do anything other than live at home.
I went from being constantly surrounded by friends to only seeing them occasionally and spending the majority of my time with my parents.
I went from having my life planned out, knowing exactly what I wanted to, where I wanted to go to not even knowing what tomorrow will bring.
But all this happened because I went from living in a healthy body to living in a body with a disease reliant on a bundle of medication to stay alive.
Everything in my life transitioned and I watched like an outsider as it happened. I never felt present in these changes because I had no control over them so they just happened and I dealt with that. I've never even given a thought as to how these changes effected me because I had no other choice. Thinking about it now, these transitions would've been a HUGE deal even if I'd only gone through one of them yet I never saw it that way. For anyone going through a complete change of lifestyle comes with its side effects, so to say I've got through that and a bunch of other sh*t makes me quite proud.
Transition is an uneasy time for anyone but the quicker you accept it, the quicker it feels right. Life is a constant changing game and you can never know whats round the corner. I'm still going through changes every single day, I'm searching for a healthy life and that doesn't happen overnight! To anyone going through changes or anyone who has gone through huge changes, I want to let you know that I am super proud of you and you should be to.
The things we don't acknowledge about ourselves can be some of our biggest achievements and we should start to reward that!
Lucy Jane