Top: Charity Shop // Skirt: Forever 21 // Blazer: Charity Shop // Shoes: Depop (Nike air force 1) // Bag: Topshop // Sunglasses: Primark // Necklaces: Forever 21
Back to life, back to reality...
A saying which has felt very appropriate for me over the past few days and todays post is here to tell you why.
My usual life for the last 6 months hasn't really been all that exciting. I'd felt too ill to do most things and as many of you will know, I'm not in education or working meaning my days sometimes can feel like they have very little purpose. I get up and get on and that felt like a hard enough task some days, never mind going out. Honestly, that is not a life I want to lead but when you don't have your health, it's hard to grasp anything else.
From the middle of March things started to change, I was put back on steroid enemas and given an iron infusion. I have a love hate relationship with steroids as yes, they make life so much easier but they have a million side effects, they aren't going to put me in remission and enemas are just a pain. So with my health slightly more maintained, I planned so many things in the lead up to my birthday as I wanted to make the most out of feeling okay.
Now my birthday has passed, along with all the plans I made and I'm happy to say I've had an amazing time over the past 2/3 weeks. Even though I've been symptomatic every day, it gave me a feel of what life was like to be 'normal' again and live every day to the fullest rather than living for when you feel better. These few weeks reminded me of what my life used to be like and thinking about that now is quite overwhelming. To be out doing something every day, visiting cities, even going shopping which is something I struggle with and I did it all! I'm so proud of myself because I battled through the anxiety, the pain and the constant trips to the toilet and did so many fun things without letting this disease takeover. Living with this positive mindset is a distraction from the big negative thing in my life and I think it's the way for me to be. I felt like I got back to my life, back to reality I want to have but that was just a glimpse at what I can have and will have one day.
You might see how busy I've been and think 'Oh wow, Lucy must be better'.
So I'll tell you now, unfortunately no I'm nowhere near 'better', I'm just fighting so much harder than I ever did before because I want my life back so SO much!
Lucy Jane